the return of the mac

I haven't been doing art shows as much as I should since the big exhibition in Ottawa last summer. But today this was in my email box:

Hello Rhianna,

INFLUX is pleased to notify you that you have won the award for 'Creative Innovation' in our first national juried exhibition, "Archiving Beauty". You are cordially invited to attend the opening reception and awards ceremony on May 3, 2007 from 5-8PM.

Congratulations,

INFLUX Jewellery Gallery 'Specializing in Canadian Contemporary Art Jewellery'




Happy birthday to me, indeed.

i heart my new weekend job

Today i got paid to spend three hours dressing up strawberries in little chocolate tuxedos.





Which is easily the most precious thing I've done all week.


After a while, I started getting attached to them, and made up little back stories. Like Rico, who is in love with a beautiful dancer, but it is not meant to be.

If anyone knew how rich my internal life is, I'm sure I'd be fired. As it is, I was caught humming "Copacabana" by the kitchen manager.

Between putting clothes on fruit, and getting to make a "boop!" noise whenever I put a cherry on top of a whip-cream rosette, well.......I've never been so happy.

Coming Soon....

Rhianna Productions presents a Rhianna event, starring Rhianna:

A VERY HOOCIE BIRTHDAY

Saturday May 5th.

Ladies! We're going out the the club! Break out your giant hoop earrings, body glitter, JLo sweatsuits, lipliner, and stilletto heels. You're going to shake that booty, little mama. Maybe show some th-th-thong! And Gents! Find your hair gel, your polo shirts, your gold chains and soak yourself in Axe body spray. The ladies won't be able to keep their arcrylic nails off you.

Yup. This is the theme for my birthday. You know you want to.

More details to follow.

it's like still living with your parents, if your parents were nazis

Of all the ads for housing I've read in the last few days, this one is my favorite. It starts out fairly normal and ends up sounding like you'd be living with a cross between Annie Wilkes from Misery and Principal Skinner's mother:

This area has been developed to be another downtown Calgary. It is a 10 minute walk to the bus stop and the bus takes you directly to the LRT - Bridlewood station. It is good because you can always have a seat on the train in the morning - who likes to stand. I have 1 bedroom with a single bed for $575/month. This is only for one person per room. The house is furnished, some bedding included,dishes, etc. You only need to bring your clothes. Anything brought into the house needs to be ok'd by me. No fridges etc in the room. The house doesn't have a garage so I cannot accomodate storage of furniture since it is furnished as you can see by the pictures. Includes utilities, phone - local calls only, cable tv, wireless internet - bring your own computer. You can use the kitchen and livingroom area. You have to clean up after yourself and put your dishes in the dishwasher, wipe off countertops, and remove your shoes if you come in the door. Muddy work boots are to be left in your vehicle and you can change into other shoes. All eating and drinking is to be done in the kitchen and dining room area ONLY. I do clean the house once a week. I do clean the bathroom. If you want me to vaccum and dust your room once a week I will - if not you can do it yourself. Toilet paper and two clean bath towels are provided once a week. I wash the sheets once a month. If you want laundry service each week it is extra and I will do it for you, or you can do your own. Quiet at 10 pm as everyone works or needs their sleep. This is a non partying house. Looking for responsible quiet people with no drug or alcohol problems. If you smoke it is to be done outside.Butts are to go in a can. References are required.

What a life! In bed by ten, furitively changing shoes in the car, wiping off countertops after you eat only in the kitchen and dining room, and worrying about what this lady thinks as she is washing your unmentionables.

On the plus side.....toilet paper provided!!

Survey says?
Pass.

the winds of change are mussing my hair

This time of year is historically typical of change...the day that Jesus rose from the dead to collect chocolate eggs.

As for me, tomorrow I start a new job, and Kaylen and I go to see apartments that we may choose to live in. (Our new life together as a couple...well, the kind of couple that needs two bedrooms.)

Did I mention that I have to get up at 5:30 to start this new job? Is it even light out at that time? I wouldn't know, because what kind of sucker gets up at 5:30? Skiiers.....and people who decorate cakes. The world needs lovely cakes and damnit, it needs cake early.

Then after work I will chip off my coating of icing and try to convince people that I am stable enough to sign a lease. Here are some facts that we will need to omit:

1. Kaylen has no job
2. Kaylen has no work visa, even
3. I have only had a job for one day
4. I have no references, renting-wise
5. We both have banjos and often jam on them 'til midnight
6. Especially, that thing about banjos

Wish me luck.

reason no.124...

...that working in an all-girl metalsmithing studio is awesome:

Kathleen: "Are you using the dangerous, high-speed industrial polishing machine to buff your nails?"

Me: "No.........................yes."

new! fun! contest!

Some quotes are so gay, you just know they have scented candles and rose petals by the tub for when they need "me" time. Some of them are so gay that they have faux military inspired t-shirts and a chihuahua with a spiked collar. Here are two I've seen today which are particularly concerned with back waxes and scented hair-sculpting gel:


"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today." -HG Wells

(Or I guess the other option is to stay lying face down on the sidewalk for all eternity. Most of us learned this wasn't a viable option before we hit Grade 2)

"If you want to be loved, be loveable" -Ovid

(........what? Or, could be written, "if you want to be gay, rub jello on the nipples of the nearest guy to you at the gay bar". These are hardly mutually exclusive. %$#& Ovid)


These are great examples. But I'm sure you guys have some too. Prove me right.