the plagues of marda loop

I'm sorry I haven't been writing much the last few weeks. We are experiencing a slight case of the plagues since Kaylen and I moved into our new place. At first it was merely things that needed to be done...repainting, unpacking, going tappa tappa tappa to find wall studs to hang pictures....oh, and clearing out animal nests from the windows.



It's like having the Discovery channel! Shoo, pidgeons. No more babies.

However, recently it's gotten a little more biblical:

The Plague of Itchiness...

I have a pox. Ever since I moved in I have been waking up every morning with more unsightly red bumps. It got so bad that it prompted me to look up images of bedbugs, which I really wish I had never had to see. However I think it's just mosquitos. Which isn't really surprising considering the fact that the windows have no screens.

The Plague of Crippling Back Pain...

Kaylen has pulled something. Which every day gets worse and worse. Which isn't helped by the fact that she won't sit still and keeps trying to paint the apartment, play basketball, install shelving etc. However we have learned that enough Robaxacet makes even he most hideous IKEA couch bearable. "Look at the pretty colours!"

The Plauge of Rain...

Two days ago, walking to Casablanca video:
Kaylen "I think it's going to rain."
Me "It's not going to rain"
Kaylen "Since when did you become such an optimist?"

However it surely did rain, and after spending an hour in the most obnoxious coffee shop in the neighborhood, we took the long and very soggy and very cold route home. After Kaylen stole their scorpion encased in lucite.

Next plauge? Hopefully not scorpions. We're stocked up.

Finless sharks never killed anybody, though...

An open letter to Rob Stewart, director of the documentary Sharkwater:


I am empathetic towards the topic of this movie. That sinking shark with no fins broke my cold cold heart. However I have some tips that will help people take you seriously in the future:

1. There is a maxium role that your nipples/swimming panties should play in a movie.
2. For the soundtrack, please do not mix your Moby and Portishead with wailing Enya-type yoga music.
3. If you make a point like, "without sharks, we will eventually not be able to breathe" you can probably be rest assured that some people will remember this without you repeating it every 3 seconds like we're idiots.
4. When you tell us that you have discovered that you have flesh-eating disease, and will lose a leg, it then becomes confusing to see you with two legs for the rest of the movie.
5. Try not to sound so much like Keanu Reeves.

Thanks,
R

p.s. Also, if you're going to go after some poachers with a battleship, please don't be afraid to bust some heads. What was with spraying them with hoses? Pansy.

just a note:

I am moving tomorrow, and we don't have internet...we will try and get on it soon. But there might be a bit of a break here, so, don't panic. You're all lovely.