carma owes me

I've discovered what makes the term "terrible tragedy" unredundant. It's the amount of beauracracy involved. For instance, if your cat is run over in the street, that is merely a tragedy. Because all you have to do is dig a hole in the garden and plunk the cat into it. Maybe have the kids make a cross that says "Muffkins", so you know not to dig that spot up when planting carrots. Or if you're really lucky and live in Canada, you can throw the cat in the freezer and forget about it until the ground thaws enough to dig.

However if someone runs over your Civic, it becomes a terrible tragedy. Because all your days off for the week will be consumed by car related paperwork, and you may not have a car again, for months! For a small sample of the terriblilty of this tragedy, witness my day....

I have been informed by the insurance company that the first thing I need to do is file a police report. They also need to see the car and put an inspection sticker on it. So today I set off in Bustopher, driving him for the first time since he was beat up by a '91 Buick LeSabre. Half way to the police station, the front tire blows. I call my dad and he comes to change the tire, because the jack in my car is missing a part. (who knew?) So we both freeze our butts off, then I go to take off in the car, which much to my distress is still making horrific grinding noises. My dad surmises that something is wrong with the axle, and we call a tow truck, which only takes 45 minutes to arrive instead of five hours, because we are in a high danger position on the side of the the Trans Canada. So I learned one thing today...always break down on the side of a main road. If your car breaks down on a side street, push it onto a main road.

So I phone the police and ask them what I should do now that the condition of my car has changed from "driveable but unattractive" to "lawn ornament". I go in to give my statement, which involves, of course, paperwork. The highlight is that I drew an extremely nerdy diagram of the accident, which the officer loved. I have to say it was a masterpiece greatly influenced by four years of art school, although my car looked a bit like a hamster.

So now I need to go the mechanic's, give them the paperwork, have them call the police to come there and do an inspection, get estimates on the mechanical damage and the autobody work, make appointments to have all this work done, and of course wait for all the insurance to go through. Thank goodness I'm living in Marda Loop now....I sense a lot of walking in the immediate future.

Chorus: Holy Moly is that Unfortunate, Dude.

Amen.