shh. everything will be okay
Tonight over coffee I remarked, for a reason that escapes me, on how funny it is that some strange phobias are common enough that someone actually named them. For example, fear of knees. (Genuphobia). Now while I've seen some unattractive knees, it's a big leap to imagine being actually a scairt o' them. This prompted me to look up a list of phobias, and well, it was a good time. I present to you my own "best of" awards.
Award for If This Is A Phobia, Call Me Phobic:
Atomosophobia- Fear of atomic explosions
Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets
Panthophobia- Fear of suffering and disease.
Rectophobia- Fear of rectum or rectal diseases.
Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive
Award for Wow That is Really Inconvienient, Dude:
Ambulophobia- Fear of walking.
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors.
Teleophobia- Fear of definite plans. (hard to get these ones to show up for appointments)
Award for I'm Sorry You're Suffering but Ha Ha Ha:
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic. (vampires?)
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th. (I find the name funnier than the fear)
Arachibutyophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat (??)
Consecotaleophobia- Fear of chopsticks.
Opiophobia- Fear that medical doctors experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients. (oh wow am I am in pain...can you give me something? what do you mean "no"? why are you running?)
Award for I Bet Most Of The Suffers Are Over 50:
Neopharmaphobia- Fear of new drugs
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer
Award for I Hope They Clearly Mark Which "Or":
Hylephobia- Fear of materialism or the fear of epilepsy.
Homophobia- Fear of sameness, monotony or of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.
Award for Being Diagnosed With These Would Push You Over The Edge:
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias
Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (this one especially is a joke, right?)
Award for Thanks For Putting So Much Effort Into Naming This:
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.
Award for If This Is A Phobia, Call Me Phobic:
Atomosophobia- Fear of atomic explosions
Ballistophobia- Fear of missiles or bullets
Panthophobia- Fear of suffering and disease.
Rectophobia- Fear of rectum or rectal diseases.
Taphophobia- Fear of being buried alive
Award for Wow That is Really Inconvienient, Dude:
Ambulophobia- Fear of walking.
Cathisophobia- Fear of sitting.
Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia- Fear of money.
Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors.
Teleophobia- Fear of definite plans. (hard to get these ones to show up for appointments)
Award for I'm Sorry You're Suffering but Ha Ha Ha:
Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic. (vampires?)
Paraskavedekatriaphobia- Fear of Friday the 13th. (I find the name funnier than the fear)
Arachibutyophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
Zemmiphobia- Fear of the great mole rat (??)
Consecotaleophobia- Fear of chopsticks.
Opiophobia- Fear that medical doctors experience of prescribing needed pain medications for patients. (oh wow am I am in pain...can you give me something? what do you mean "no"? why are you running?)
Award for I Bet Most Of The Suffers Are Over 50:
Neopharmaphobia- Fear of new drugs
Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
Cyberphobia- Fear of computers or working on a computer
Award for I Hope They Clearly Mark Which "Or":
Hylephobia- Fear of materialism or the fear of epilepsy.
Homophobia- Fear of sameness, monotony or of homosexuality or of becoming homosexual.
Award for Being Diagnosed With These Would Push You Over The Edge:
Phobophobia- Fear of phobias
Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (this one especially is a joke, right?)
Award for Thanks For Putting So Much Effort Into Naming This:
Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch.
posted by Idoru at 7:51 PM
4 Comments:
My father is afraid of knees. He can't stand to look at them.
...actually, i hate knees too. they are so joint-y.
i had a 2nd grade teacher who would wear shorts and coloured pantyhose. and she would sit on the desk and swing her legs back and forth. forever. it was like the visual equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. i don't even remember what she taught. something about africa?
fear of phobias is terrific. It's like a whole new level of phobias, or metphobias if you will.
"I never metaphobia I didn't like"....is not what is said by people with the phobia phobia.
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