Post St. Patrick's Day #2
An Open Letter To Drunk People:
Please do not give into the deluded thought that us sober, calm people are uptight and repressed and just need to learn to have a little fun, and that we can be led by your shining example. The only thing we are repressing is rage. The next time you push in front of me at a concert to flail wildly, scream moronic things, grind against your boyfriend/girlfriend, and expectorate like a lawn sprinkler, I will not be tapping you on the shoulder merely to glare and motion you to the side. I will be tapping you on the shoulder so that you will turn around for me to punch you right in the face. I've done it to Italian sailors, I can do it to pale intoxicated hipsters at the HiFi.
Motherfuckers.
Love,
Me
p.s. As a total aside....the general rule is, if you need a thick belt around the waist in order to have a waist...you shouldn't be wearing one. They are ornamental and not in fact load-bearing.
Please do not give into the deluded thought that us sober, calm people are uptight and repressed and just need to learn to have a little fun, and that we can be led by your shining example. The only thing we are repressing is rage. The next time you push in front of me at a concert to flail wildly, scream moronic things, grind against your boyfriend/girlfriend, and expectorate like a lawn sprinkler, I will not be tapping you on the shoulder merely to glare and motion you to the side. I will be tapping you on the shoulder so that you will turn around for me to punch you right in the face. I've done it to Italian sailors, I can do it to pale intoxicated hipsters at the HiFi.
Motherfuckers.
Love,
Me
p.s. As a total aside....the general rule is, if you need a thick belt around the waist in order to have a waist...you shouldn't be wearing one. They are ornamental and not in fact load-bearing.
posted by Idoru at 12:59 AM
1 Comments:
Haha - amen
We met a birthday boy on St. Patty's Day. How do I vividly remember this? We had the same goddamn conversation 3 times.
Seriously - if you're bombed (and I mean actually incapacitated) by 8:30 PM ... it's time to go home and write off the night, my friend, not keep drinking and proceed to continually come back to a table of girls minding their own business who were polite the first 3 times but lost all patience on the 4th. Don't make me be rude and bitchy - I don't like it but I'll do what I have to in order to keep a slurry mess away from me.
Cheers!
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